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24 January 2009

Twisting and turning, unable to sleep in my bed

I stumble to my computer, trying to dislodge cobwebs from my head. It's nights like these that I envy Dumbledore his pensieve. Just imagine possessing the ability to unclutter one's mind, and more closely examine select memories! No more mental gymnastics, cerebral tug-of-war between competing memories, or neurons playing Chinese fire drill. Just a calm, unfettered exploration of things long forgotten, but still important.

The elusiveness of sleep seems intrinsically tied to my inability to pin down seemingly random events that, when compared, create a sense of recurring patterns in my life. I feel myself teetering on the dark brink of a wormhole. Fall one direction and land precariously on a new, as yet unknown, path filled with both challenges and rich discovery. Or, tumble toward the inner whirling, chaotic center of familiar discord and majestic mountains already climbed and conquered.

I strive for balance, lean inward out of fear, and call to the wind to carry me away from the all too familiar dis-ease of my past. I no longer wish to stride in lockstep with recurrent destiny, and yearn for the path less traveled by these feet of mine. Even so, some part of me clings to the eye of the storm, bracing for the stress and devastation carried near by the back wall.

Shaking from the force of my silent screams of protest, I wonder if this time I carry sufficient belief in my ability, lessons learned and left behind, to move forward - to trust in the fall toward a new destiny. I crave that with such intensity. It is time, and I fear I cannot survive another repeat of the cycle.

Manifest destiny, considered in this light, resembles not some intangible ideology, but an intentional act, a leap of faith - MY leap of faith. I ask for the strength to take it, and I ask that you come with, into the future. My future, our future, toward the unknown and waiting to be discovered, where we seek not, but beauty, peace and love find us.

01/24/09: President Obama's Weekly Address

Don't miss the Weekly Presidential Radio Address, now moved to YouTube with video as well. This man demonstrates a clear understanding of where we are, where we need to go, and how to get there. I've never made a point of listening to the weekly radio address, but will from here on out.

17 January 2009

From President Elect Obama's radio Address

I haven't blogged in about forever, thanks to student teaching, working on my Master's, and just being a mom in general. Oh, but how I wished all those mixed up, contorted, sometimes jubilant, sometimes sad musings occupied space in this blog for later perusal. This is truly an historic time for our nation. In just three short days, I believe our nation will set it's first foot upon the fork in the road less traveled, yet necessary and likely to bring riches previously unimagined.

In his weekly radio addresses, President Elect Obama shared his vision, and his passion for our country, and for bringing each of us together. Today, he gave his last address as President Elect, and the following exerpt from that speech carry such power, such hope, and an even greater call to action.


We are here today not simply to pay tribute to our first patriots but to take up the work that they began. The trials we face are very different now, but severe in their own right. Only a handful of times in our history has a generation been confronted with challenges so vast. An economy that is faltering. Two wars, one that needs to be ended responsibly, one that needs to be waged wisely. A planet that is warming from our unsustainable dependence on oil.

And yet while our problems may be new, what is required to overcome them is not. What is required is the same perseverance and idealism that our founders displayed. What is required is a new declaration of independence, not just in our nation, but in our own lives - from ideology and small thinking, prejudice and bigotry - an appeal not to our easy instincts but to our better angels.

That is the reason I launched my campaign for the presidency nearly two years ago. I did so in the belief that the most fundamental American ideal, that a better life is in store for all those willing to work for it, was slipping out of reach. That Washington was serving the interests of the few, not the many. And that our politics had grown too small for the scale of the challenges we faced.

But I also believed something else. I believed that our future is our choice, and that if we could just recognize ourselves in one another and bring everyone together - Democrats, Republicans, and Independents, north, south, east and west, black, white, Latino, Asian, and Native American, gay and straight, disabled and not - then not only would we restore hope and opportunity in places that yearned for both, but maybe, just maybe, we might perfect our union in the process.