03 June 2009

More frustrated than ever

This feels like a Lose Lose on all sides, rather than any kind of win or growing experience. The kids big sis stopped by and took them to practice, decked out in dry land appropriate attire. The phone rings, it's her, and I debate answering. I'm so not into the drama this morning. It's only 8:30 and we've had far too much already, but I answer anyway. The pool is packed with children stretching, garbed in suits only. What - the - Heck? It's only 43 F out, they aren't supposed to enter the water if it's below 50... My kids won't leave the car because they didn't bring suits, and they're the only two in sweats alone. "But Mom, we'll look stupid if we're the only people without our suits!"

Perhaps. And perhaps you'll miss the opportunity to swim your first meet on Saturday because you failed to show up at practice. Dumb response, that's what the Boy Wonder wants to hear. He's decided to attribute his attitude this morning to a dislike of all things swim team, and insists he NEVER wanted to do this. Right. He was so proud of himself for persevering last year, and spouted exuberance at the coming season. Now that it's here, and I know he fears failure in the face of his age level jerk mates, I mean teammates. And there's the rub, the boys in his age bracket really are jerks. They, with the exception of one other kid, all go to the same middle school. They all have girlfriends, a fact my own child secretly finds ridiculous and gross. I'd say whatever, but they're relentless in their ridicule of anyone different from the pack, and I hurt for my son. Underlying it all is my gut knowledge that he MUST have an activity to channel his energy into this summer, and this one's paid for at a rather hefty price. We're committed, and challenges to face or not, it's one we need to see through - together.

I sit here wondering how, how do I convince him we can do more than simply persevere, that we can enjoy this and make it fun? How do I convince him that meeting this head on promises a new found sense of pride in his ability to stick it out, to rise above the norm? Yes, he has a pack of jerk mates to contend with, and coaches who express favoritism, intentionally or not. Yes, it's early in the morning, and hard to get up in the wee pre-dawn hours to face an hour of hard workout. In the end, honesty is the best policy, and my hope is that we can work it out together.

No comments: